Purpose

* “Write about what you hope to leave behind and the difference you hope to make” in the 21 Day Writing Journey

I would like to leave a legacy of sorts. Not a mercenary one, as money is of no import. Nor, sadly, a familial one as I will be the end of my genetic line. For the latter reason I am keen that something of me lingers after I depart this earthly existence.

I would like to live on in the love others have for me. In the memories they return to, the smiles as they remember me, the beat of their heart as I pop into their heads.

I am not a big achiever. I am not competitive nor compelled to succeed. I do not aim to stand out. Nor do I shout to be heard. My life is not dramatic or especially memorable.

I like to think however that the value I place on each person I meet, the time I spend with them, the respect I show them, may have a tiny impact.

I see the light in each one of us. I feel love for everyone I come across, from the cousins I grew up and grow older with, to the stranger on the train who catches my eye as they slip by. There are few people about whom I don’t care, even those who have for have for their own reason, a problem with me. I aim to understand their point of view, forgive their misconception and plumb for their hidden depths.

Only I can be me. I have realised that my greatest gift to the world is to be myself. To not worry about what anyone thinks of me, of how I live my life and deal with my shit. To do the very best I can to be the very best I can. Not perfect by any means, but by exposing and embracing my flaws in a public way, to encourage others to see themselves in a better light. To understand their value and goodness, despite the flaws their internal dialogue may emphasise.

I hope that by expressing the difficulties I have faced and sharing how I faced them with humour and an upbeat attitude, that others will discover their own strength and rhythm for navigating tricky territory.

I’m not keen on the term inspirational, it feels like a hefty responsibility, but that has been said about how I live. If anyone, and I believe this has happened, can stand strong as adversity approaches because they know I have grappled with worse, then I am holding their hand both in this life and the next.

That’s what I’d like to leave behind. The sense I am with you. Supporting you through whatever challenges you. Standing nearby egging you on. Celebrating with you when you are successful. Commiserating with a tissue to hand and a tea in the pot when you are not.

Why? Because I love you. For who you are, for who you were, for who you are becoming.

Does this make a difference? Now. Maybe. You’d have to ask those in who’s lives I am playing a part. After I am elsewhere? That’s my intention. The stronger and truer to my self I can be during my life, surely the stronger and truer my soul becomes after my death? 

If it doesn’t sound too trite I believe I can leave a tangible presence by living present, even at some distance. The distance and the reality may change but the light from my soul and the positive energy from my heart is eternal and I hope, felt by those of you who hold me in yours, long after I leave your line of sight.

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