If you know me, you’ll be aware that I have a number of foibles, slight peculiarities, idiosyncrasies, anal tendencies, eccentricities.  I believe they are worth celebrating.
This is a list of those that spring to my mind:
  • curtains – when they are drawn they need to hang straight – thinking about it, this applies when they are open too.  I think this only applies at home – I’ve never found myself manhandling another’s curtains.
  • toilet rolls – need to hang away from the wall and if you find yours has turned around it may be because I visited your smallest room – can’t help being hands on with this one.  Why it’s preferable to having the roll stroking the wall as it dangles, I don’t know.
  • singing – you may just have heard me do this 😉 – any song on the radio / TV will impregnate my brain and be sung for hours (sometimes, and very annoyingly, days) afterwards.  If I hear a word or phrase that comes from a song, I’ll be singing it within minutes, often without even realising what the trigger was.  My work colleagues used to do this on purpose, for fun.  Last weekend it was Friday I’m in Love all weekend following a friend’s Facebook status update.
  • upside down opening – I have, for as long as I can remember, opened all packaging which has a right side up, up side down.  Malteaser bags, crisp packets, bags of pasta, packets of sanitary towels etc.  I think this stemmed from an early recognition that if a bag of summat had a hole at the top used to hang the item on a display – if opened  the right way up this hole would result in the packet splitting down the side and half the stuff inside flying out.  Solved by opening upside down.  This soon mutated to any and all packets.
  • talking to myself – I do this all the time, because I spend a lot of time alone perhap??  Weirdly I catch myself doing it without even realising – usually in the supermarket or wandering down the street.  Then I tell myself off.  Out loud.
  • talking to inanimate objects – I talk to the trees, but they do not listen to me.  No really, I do talk to things – vegetables, furniture, plants, doors, taps, bits of my body.  Maybe I enjoy not getting a response.
  • sound effects – I provide sound effects.  Why?  No idea.  Didn’t even know I did it until a friend at work pointed it out one day.  Then realised I do it all the blooming time.  If a door creaks I’ll do a creaky noise.  If driving round a bend I’ll emit a skidding sound effect.  If driving a trolley around a corner I’ll do the same.  If I see a ball bounce I’ll produce a boing.
  • talking for things – I not only talk to the animals, but for them as well.  I must have watched too much Johnny Morris as a child because if I see an animal – a cat on a street, a goose in a field, a duck on a river – I talk to them and then I reply for them, with appropriate animal / bird voice.  I can have quite a splendid little conversation this way.  
  • talking for babies – I also cannot help but do this for babies too.  If a baby’s playing with something I will provide a commentary – what I imagine baby to be thinking.  I guess what they would say when they look at you askance (which is probably because you are having a conversation with yourself).  I can’t help myself and enjoy trying to figure out what they might say if only they could.  Probably irritating as hell for the parents.  I think this stems from at the age of 6 wishing I could do the voices for Count Duckula or Mighty Mouse.
  • silliness – no explanation needed here, think the foibles above are testament to this.  I am a silly billy and I am not ashamed.
  • word play – I like to make new words.  Taking existing words and changing them a little.  For instance Foibilicious.  Can’t think of any more at the moment but I know there are squillions.
If you know of others I’ve omitted, please feel free to comment thus.  I’m sure there are more….

If you’d like to comment a list of your own – that would be fascinating 🙂


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